Friends

Many people assume that I don't blog as often anymore. In fact, I still do it on a regular basis. It's a matter of whether I publish those posts or save them as drafts. For some reason, I wrote this post 4 days ago but didn't publish it, because I feel that it is too private, the angle I'm writing from. Editing it and making it more impersonal would be a hassle, but some things happen consecutively these days that makes it appropriate to post publicly.

Enjoy:

25/1/12, 9:45pm
Long before social media stepped in and complicated our lives a hell lot more, the word "friend" used to be a simple notion, of someone you hang out and have fun with, of someone who listens to your problems and vice versa, of a person you know will go through a great deal of your life with you. Since the days of Facebook, people start to add people as a "friend" even if they're really just acquaintances. As a result, an unpopular person could have as many as 400 friends, while a popular individual may have at least 1000 friends. Who, really are our true friends?

The notion of friendship has become very loose, and the sanctity of such a beautiful word has diminished due to the excessive use/abuse. These days, when you call someone your friend, that friend wouldn't find that status gratifying or rewarding enough. Consequently, we start to push our creativity and vocabulary skill to a further extent by adding adjectives such as "best", "close", "true" or "only" before friend, or completely nickname our friends something equally unique and sweet, just to separate this special bunch of people from your other insignificant friends. 

I really do squeeze my creative juices a lot just to think of pet names for my friends as a form of assurance that they are significant to me. I am largely successful in being clear on my feelings for them, but I've been caught in situations where those who are not really that significant to me think that they are. It's really deeply uncomfortable to be caught in a situation when they treat me so importantly but that sentiment isn't mutual. I end up hating myself for being unable to develop such tenderness, and then I force myself to, and end up being unnatural. But then again, I have social media to thank because it has played a remarkable role in making the boundaries of a concept of a friendship grey and murky.

Think about it: when is it that you stop calling that person an acquaintance and start calling him a friend? You would need to know some basic information about him, such as: How many family members does he have, and what is his rank in sibling-ship? Does he smoke? Where does he stay? What is his educational history? I state these examples because I have "friends" who don't even know the basic information about me yet go around telling the whole world that I am his best friend. You're just my acquaintance, not even my friend!

I am someone who can be sloppy at times. I have the capacity for neatness, and I have a keen eye, but sometimes I don't have the patience because efficiency is my priority (just look at how beautiful or ugly my handwriting can swing). When it comes to people, however, I expect distinction. That is why I choose my friends very wisely and carefully. It takes me a tremendous amount of time before I stop referring to my mental checklist of whether s/he would betray me, be disloyal or insincere, and even a longer time before I stop that mental alarm of constantly being alert to any possible traits that might turn me away from the friendship. Basically, what I mean is that it takes me a long time before I trust someone and just be myself. By direct proportionality, as I grow older, my fear increases. With my fear that mostly protects me from hurting but sometimes louses me up, I am really fortunate to have met a handful of true friends with superior morals and beliefs who incidentally, love me very much, and every single day, I thank my lucky stars.

Make your friends feel loved by distinguishing them from your other "friends" who are really just superficial acquaintances. I'm not saying that it is wrong to aim for 2000 or 3000  Facebook friends, or that it is sinful to try to be Mr. or Ms. Popular. My point is to urge you to remember who your true friends are, and instead of aiming an empty goal, focus more on those who really are worth it, and let these people know it.

Well What Do You Know!

I must say that my Hollywood history is improving so much that I can actually identity some Tom & Jerryish undertones to this song Here's To The Girls sung by Fred Astaire (aww...) in the musical movie Ziegfeld Follies, 1934.

The song was written by Rogers Edens, the songwriter who was involved in MGM's Tom and Jerry songs.

The reason I watched this is because of a wonderful, beautiful, talented and sexy showgirl who appeared in timeline 3:00. I got a kick out of the lyrics of the song because if you listen carefully, they included LUCILLE (aka Lucille Ball) in the lyrics!

And look at the way she dances, it's totally disconnected from the Lucy Ricardo talentless wife in I Love Lucy. This proves that she was the best actress as she was the most versatile!

Not to forget other stars like Gene Kelly, Judy Garland and Red Skelton, who appeared in the huge musical!

The Source Of Your Spring Water

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!

I suppose that for many local women, Chinese New Year is the best excuse to purchase new apparels, bags, shoes and jewelry, wear heavy make up and alluring fragrances, and consume lots of sinful heavenly goodies. Everything applies doubly for me, of course. We deserve to splurge if we've worked extremely hard, don't we!

Maybe because I've reflected upon many readings on people who died with regrets about not doing many things they ought to recently, but fortunately for me, I now have the chance to expound on the fact that Chinese New Year isn't about material goods nor vanity, it is about family, and am able to share my feelings with you.

饮水思源: knowing where the source of the spring water and being grateful for it. 

Many of us forget the fundamental meaning of Chinese New Year-- it is an occasion to visit not only your best friends, but the people who share the same bloodline as you do. Our ancestors are the ones who have paved the way for a physically safe, and psychologically and monetarily secure environment that we now enjoy. Sadly, because families have to branch out, they could only catch a glimpse of us once a year. Sometimes, many of us don't even bother to visit them because we have other better things to do-- spend more time with our romantic partners, watch television programs or because we're afraid to be nagged or shamed by our (insensitive) relatives, when most of them just sincerely want us to be happy.

We are probably too young to understand how our aged grandparents feel, but do try to step into their shoes just for a moment: Imagine that you are now old and feeble, and feel trapped in a weakening shriveled old body. Intellectually wise, you aren't able to keep up with the pace of our offspring who are crowded around you, engaged in their own colorful conversations. As hours fly by, you feel increasingly lethargic, but try to fight off that now familiar sensation that will lull us to sleep and waste more of the limited time on earth, simply because you know that your offspring only visit you once annually. Deep down, you even doubt that you could live till the next new year.

How do you feel?

We all have a peak period of our lives, where we look best, feel best, earn most and play most. But remember that every peak has an incline and a decline. If you want your decline to be fruitful and meaningful, be a good role model for your younger siblings or children-- teach them what 饮水思源 means. Take a few hours out of your 365 days of 8760 hours a year to visit them, to stop bearing grudges, and unselfishly make your elders happy, even if they do not recognize you anymore. Don't live to regret.

Let this Chinese New Year and future years be more meaningful!

Sing and Dance

I really dig those old television shows, where song and dance routines were integrated into story lines. Watching those stars getting jolly while performing just makes me feel jolly myself too.

I probably feel so because of my musical background of singing in a choir and dancing in performance. The rehearsals are always tedious and frustrating, but when everything becomes perfect and fit for performance, that feeling that embraces me is just so marvelous that it outweighs the costs and sacrifices. And when you know the audience members are enjoying themselves, nothing is more important at that moment.

They sure don't make shows like that anymore. I think that these oldies should be brought back into the mass media's world again. I'm not saying that old Hollywood stars were very moral, but at least they were discreet about it. This ensured that fewer people were negatively influenced due to the lack of exposure to such entities. Today, however, impressionable adolescents are being negatively influenced from all that coarse language, sexual blatancy, and positive portrayal of drugs and cigarettes. Honestly, I feel cleansed after watching oldies. Nowadays, I don't really laugh much at tasteless corny boorish or sexual jokes.

We're sliding down a slippery moral slope, and it's time to look back to the good old days in order to save our future generations.

Serial Monogamous Relationships

Have you ever heard of the term "serial monogamous relationships"? Separately, the vocabulary would hold a meaning to you. What they magically equate to when placed side by side is the tendency for some people to engage in one serious relationship after another, where each new relational partner serves as a replacement to the predecessor.

People who engage in such relationships hop from one relationship to the next, mostly needing some company to forget about the previous relationships. At times, they bank on the fact that they do like their new partners, and internally hope that the mild affection would blossom into true love. If it doesn't, well, they just have to force themselves to develop some kinda romantic feelings.

These people have seemingly found the magic formula to escape from the nasty remnants after the relationship has failed. By jumping into an entirely fresh relationship, it's a fresh start all over again. Let me find a perfect illustration to explain why it's a foolish formula.

Have you ever bought a spiral notebook like this, and couldn't find a theme to scribble down in the notebook?

 After writing a page or two, you put the notebook aside, then take a look at it, finding what you've written is lame or irrelevant, and tear that page off? After all, tearing the pages off is easy for a spiral notebook. After tearing 20 pages or so however, you suddenly realize that the pages left between the two hardcovers of the notebook are so meager that the notebook should belong in the bin.

Well, that's the story of the life of people who keep finding replacements to fill that empty void. Their lives are a blur of people who keep entering and exiting, and ultimately, they finally wake up to the fact that they have led meaningless lives. Believe me, it feels horrible to find this out when you're old and feeble. It'll be too late by then, and I'm sure you would have little friends because they would have left you long ago in utter disgust.

Please be careful while choosing a romantic partner. Do not find someone who is merely using you to serve his or her own purpose. I won't pass judgment on the correctness or wrongness, but these people are definitely emotionally weak. You wouldn't want to go through life with them: just imagine when you're both in your 40s and you develop a physical ailment-- will they be there for you, or would they escape? In the first place, they don't truly love you like a soul mate.

I rather you find someone who shares that mutual love, go through high fires and deep waters with you, and you end up in a divorce but remain as best friends. At least, the love you've shared is a genuine article, and the both of you have bravely tried.

Baking Narcissism

I think I'm not going to bake cornflake cookies for quite some time, after the intense baking.

First batch, specially for Elaine:

Second batch for other orders, friends and family:

It's not even Chinese New Year and my throat's a little sore. But I just love my honey cornflake cookies!

Enjoyable (16/1)

(*Updated with pictures!)
These few days have been rather merciful to me. It was a relief, a sanctuary from the hectic days. I got to meet Diana and Elaine; they celebrated my belated birthday and we ate at Sukiya, my favorite Japanese steamboat restaurant, and then we went down to Orchard.

Thank you Diana for the cookies! They're delicious-- I finished everything in two days!

After our meal, we went to Orchard to look for Jaslin, and then we shopped around. Though it was crowded as an important festival is creeping up, I enjoyed myself with my best friends from university. It was like back to the old days again, like the previous Chinese New Year period together with Priscilla too.

Thank you to the two of you for my lovely birthday presents! I'm always hesitant to print my pictures as it's so expensive and troublesome. Thank you, and I can really see the effort from the two of you! And I love the H&M cardigan too! Love you guys!

Jaslin and I shopped a little after her work. Each time I wait for her, I would end up buying clothes. Ha ha! I finally got my Christian Dior concealer. I've been hesitating for months. In lieu of the incoming red packets, I'm liable to splurge a little. Well, this festive season is always an excuse to shop for clothes, shoes, undergarments, cosmetics and all the nonsense.  

I treasure these wonderful days so much!